Doh! We can outsmart those dolphins. Don’t forget – we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, and the pudding cup. Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs. A woman is a lot like a refrigerator: 6 feet tall, 300 pounds… it makes ice. I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. Roads are just a suggestion Marge, just like pants. I never apologize… I’m sorry but that’s the way I am. If it doesn’t have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair. Operator! Give me the number for 911! English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England. Marge, you know it’s rude to talk when my mouth is full. English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England.
When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! Just sit through this NRA meeting Marge, and if you still don’t think guns are great then we’ll argue some more. Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves. Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. I’m like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed? Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out. I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
You’re everywhere. You’re omnivorous. I never apologize… I’m sorry but that’s the way I am. Marge it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. It’s so simple to be wise… just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it. I like my beer cold… my TV loud… and my homosexuals flaming. I think the saddest day of my life was when I realised I could beat my dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four. The problem in the world today is communication… too much communication. Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
